Although there are three clear body types, it’s important to be aware that these aren’t set in stone.
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Women with big bottoms, we're now told, have a much lower risk of heart disease than those of the same height and weight who pile it on around the middle.
And the bad news doesn't stop with furred arteries: we have diabetes, Alzheimer's and breast cancer to look forward to as well.
Given the choice, I would rather have been a pear any day.
At least pears have waists and can hide their big bottoms under skirts.
Besides, men find big bottoms attractive, but I've never heard one extolling the allure of a spare tyre.
To add to an apple's woes, it has become increasingly clear that, as well as being unglamorous, having a high centre of gravity is unhealthy.
A few spare handfuls around the middle is manageable, but, with the menopause, even pears put on weight around the waistband, and apples who don't watch out can become melons.
So when I heard about a book by Marilyn Glenville Ph D entitled Fat Around the Middle: How to Lose that Bulge for Good and Why it's Not All Down to Diet, I leapt upon the scientific tome.
I would say I’m pretty slender, but given my Scottsdale, Arizona club scene surroundings, I don’t think my version of slender applies.