And if your neighborhood happens to be more than three stops outside Manhattan? Yes, New Yorkers also pass on prospective mates because they're too nice, needy, live in a neighborhood that’s inconvenient, or are just plain weird. You’re usually meeting at the bar/restaurant/coffee shop. What if it’s one of the eight months a year when it’s freezing or those other four when it’s unbearably humid?
If they offer to meet you at a spot in your neighborhood, even better! (This never happened.) Thinning the herd can also mean dumping the rugby-playing med student because he was super available and attentive.
Or because you really want that summer share in the Hamptons. Maybe you’re a traditionalist and you still believe you can meet someone in Central Park... This can be why most New Yorkers don’t want to commit, because they know that there will always be someone else, theoretically better, right around the corner.
Or someone to call "babe" every Sunday morning at brunch at The Smith. Like, literally, around the corner you can see right now.
However, "This surplus of women is not just 'perceived' but very, very real," Birger writes.
In his book "DATE-ONOMICS: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game," Birger argues that the college and post-college hookup scene is a result of the gender gap in college enrollment.
expain me something about the multiple dating: do the girls go out with several guys, and they kiss all of them? does this make the difference with random sexual hookup?
before coming here i had heard that random hookup were quite common here, but nothing like this happened to me, i had always to invite the girl to a dinner and then we started a relation.
Or to take a magical ride on Jane’s Carousel, or reserve a table at that new restaurant, or hit the concert they’ve been wanting to see. Maybe you ask to be set up with a friend of a friend. Again, I tip my hat to you, but this is increasingly not how it works here. When a couple in a different city recounts the story of how they met, they would often rather lie and tell you it was in a strip club than suffer e-shame. After you’ve gone to the bars, and sent all the PMs, and swiped to the right on anyone who isn’t in a picture with their mom or a tiger (it happens! Or did you not shave your legs/chest in an attempt to behave, but now you’re screwed because they’re hot and smart and you’re going home with them anyway?
If it goes well, have you packed your tiny overnight toothbrush in the event of a sleepover?
But Tinder and its ilk (apps like Ok Cupid and Hinge) aren't entirely to blame, argues freelance journalist and former Fortune reporter Jon Birger in The Washington Post.
The Vanity Fair article quotes a psychologist who says that apps like Tinder contribute to "a perceived surplus of women" among straight men, which promotes more hookups and fewer traditional relationships.
These are just a small fraction of the things that enter into your mind.