The first step is to be aware of common dating sites and apps (many of which are intended to look inconspicuous) so that if you stumble upon them on your spouse’s phone or web browser history, you’ll recognize them.
Post major break-up, sifting through the detritus of my life, I found “THE LIST." Years before, after another brutal split, I had written out an honest list of everything I wanted in a life partner.
From being nice to children and the elderly, to detailed sexual desires I wouldn't let anyone read, I didn't hold back. It was my moment except it was more like Eat, Cry, Eat. So I made a promise to myself: The next guy I was going to meet would be the 100% guy. My hand grabbed the nearest thick red marker and at the top of the list I announced: Armed with my new mandate and ready to move on, I started to date men again.
Seeing that he was online hurt me and threw me a little.
Unfortunately, dating sites and apps can allow men and women to have secret interactions and flirtations and in some cases, entire relationships, without the risk of their husbands or girlfriends catching them in the act.
I could be one of those guys that goes to galleries. It's about following my heart, my interests and my passions.
Rather than guess what someone else was looking for and try to be that, I needed to have faith that who I am and want in life is awesome and worth it and that trusting my gut will lead me to the kind of guy I deserve.
w=300&h=255" data-large-file="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/john-cusack-boombox-58185.png? w=545" class="size-medium wp-image-2864" title="john-cusack-boombox-58185" src="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/john-cusack-boombox-58185.png? w=300&h=255" alt="John Cusack holding up a boombox in Say Anything" width="300" height="255" srcset="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/john-cusack-boombox-58185.png? I’ve gone on a handful of online dates over the past few years and that have never resulted in a second date. Somehow the first person I decided to have a conversation during my most recent fory turned into a good date, and now a good series of dates.
w=300&h=255 300w, https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/john-cusack-boombox-58185.png? w=598&h=510 598w, https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/john-cusack-boombox-58185.png? w=150&h=128 150w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /I’m a serially-single female in my mid-20s who has only been in two relationships. We’ve already entered the hairy business of talking about our past failed relationships, our family, our habits etc.
In the era of swipe left culture, even the slightest mention of art, pop culture, or politics in the small bio of a thumbnail on my i Phone would give me the go-ahead to judge their personality. The lid to my pot may have been swiped or blocked long ago. I could have banished him to the Dark i Cloud for a bad selfie (although I still maintain the "selfie standard": a messy room, a filthy carpet or a dirty bathroom mirror is a deal breaker! Sure, I'll spend my hard-earned money on a Coldplay concert, or go to club where I can't hear or talk to you. Because that's where the guy who goes to art galleries is.
It bored me and prevented me from connecting with interesting people, and any budding connection stayed on the surface—but I'm cool dammit! I had a long list of what I was looking for in the 100% guy. At the art gallery." That's when it dawned on me that I needed to BE the type of person I wanted to be with.
Yesterday out of boredom I signed onto the dating site where I met for the first time in a long time.